Introduction

A place to explore my mind, especially the parts I never go with other people, and the places I rarely even allow myself to go. The total anonymity of this space is what I need. I could be anyone at all. I might even be you, and if you are an intelligent person, you know that you are capable of anything, good, bad or neutral. I will take the stance that all thoughts are neutral, not sin or virtue. This makes it easier for me as I am a religious man. My position in my religious community means I often have to wear a mask, which I find difficult. They wish or I perceive that they wish for me to be perfect, being a leader of sorts. How can reconcile this being pharisaic with being Christian, when Jesus so clearly spoke against such a manner of living? I cannot, and that is the reason for this journal. I hope it will make me a better Christian as well as a better person. I hope it will help me to better live with myself and with the person people want me to be.
I believe the topics here will be related to several issues that I do not often talk about.
1. Sexuality
2. Psychological framework
3. Religiosity, faith, and Spirituality
4. Relationships
These are interrelated strongly, and require self-observation and analysis. The only requirement is total honesty, which will require a lack of fear. This fear of myself has led my whole life. I require freedom for it to live my life, as I want to live it. I need to work out my ideals, and see if they realisable. For me this means firstly looking at the person of Christ.